If you needed prayer you would stay after the last mass on that day & teams would pray over you. They would call you up onto the altar and pray for you. This was all very new to me back then, the concept and all that is. I heard those very words prayed over me "The healing balm of Gilead." I did not know what praying in tongues was and I heard this woman praying/singing a song over me in a language I knew not and it was so beautiful and lovely. I inquired about the song you sang over me while praying for me. As I recall this from many years ago I still remember the beauty of this song. I think it was the 1st time I ever heard anything like that in my life. As a Catholic in a Catholic Church being prayed over on a altar.
I remember the 1st time I experienced "resting in the Spirit." At the same Catholic Church on the altar being prayed for by the team at their healing service after the last mass on the designated day for this service. It was done in pure love with an atmosphere of love & prayer. I began to sway a bit and this very woman who was the lead in the prayer team praying for me gently told me not to fight it and I then fell back. While on the floor laying down on the altar at the Catholic Church she ever so gently explained to me what was happening. She referred to it as resting in the Spirit. God wanted me to rest in Him and that is exactly what happened to me. While laying there the team continue to pray over me. I believe this is one of the 1st times I heard praying/singing in tongues along with an interpretation of the words also.
For some reason I am drawn back to the words "healing balm of Gilead." For one time that is what she said to me that she was hearing those very words spoken and to pray over me.
Now I am jumping back to the Catholic Church that chains of bondage were tried to be placed upon me. I get it I truly do get it. Here is the Catholic Church that had to deal with a parishioner (me that is) having all kinds of Holy Spirit encounters and how do we deal with her? Fresh off of my trip to Medjugorje. I came back sort of a radical changed person. I saw people from around the world gather at mass and receive communion via kneeling and choosing to receive communion not via the hands but receiving it via the tongue (the old fashioned way.)
I am back at church as a Eucharistic Minister and I feel led (now I know it was Holy Spirit back then I had no knowledge of that ) to start receiving the Eucharist (communion) on the altar as I knelt to receive it. Not only that to receive it on my tongue and not via the hands held out to receive it. Why was I drawn to this, out of reverence and respect for communion. This went on a few time until... I was told I was an Eucharistic Minister setting an example and I was not to receive communion in that fashion. I would kneel if not in the Eucharistic Minister capacity going down the aisle to receive communion as a parishioner. When I got before the priest I would then kneel and prepare and posture myself to receive via my tongue until... I was told that method slows down the communion line. I then was inspired to now then genuflect at communion time to receive the Eucharist.
I was doing this out of reverence. See as a Catholic we believed that the priest prayed over the communion elements and they then became the body and blood of Jesus. This was an act of total reverence and respect for Jesus.
Long story short, I was being re-buffed each time by the priests at this church and it began to play on my heart. I knew what I saw take place with pilgrims from all around the world that gathered to receive communion in the mass at the Catholic Church in Medjugorje. I strongly felt I was to receive communion in this manner when I came back home. I took my plea all the way to a priest that served right under the Bishop of the diocese I resided in. I met with the priest in a office at the very diocese I pleaded my case and basically I was told nothing was going to be done on my behalf to allow me to receive communion in this fashion. My natural father was a Eucharistic Minister that served on the altar at this very diocese cathedral. I shared with him that I could no longer serve as a Eucharistic Minister since this was the outcome.
I remember the very weekend in the Fall I was going to be trained to become a Eucharistic Minister, how do I remember that? Easy, I had a sign I was to go that day. See this was the Fall and not the Spring when Easter lilies bloom. After I had an Easter lily for Easter I then planted the bulb and sure enough the Easter lily bloomed a beautiful flower in the "Fall" just for me on this special weekend I was being trained to be a Eucharistic Minister. The same local parish was putting out an invitation to go on a retreat with the monks @ the Abbey of the Genesee. I was emphatically told by one of the priests at our parish that I could only go on this retreat if I "behaved." I said I would and went on this retreat. I think the "behaved" was in reference to no kneeling or genuflecting to receive communion. I got up for the early morning lauds I think they are called and enjoyed that very much so.
In the beginning I shared with you of my Holy Spirit experience at 1 church that was about a 1 hour drive away from where I lived. I was drawn to the church 1st and then that very community is where we (my children and I) resided after my divorce. I was married to an attorney at the time and was told I could never move there for it was too many counties away from where he resided. If I recollect correctly he told me you could only live 2 counties away.Want to hear something very interesting? The city in which I was planning to reside in actually had 2 counties within this city. Well the portion of the city I found a place to reside in was the 3rd county away from his residence. I guess the rule was 2 counties out. The judge approved of us living 3 counties away.
You see in my real life example same Catholic Church, 2 different diocese and 2 different parishes. One tried to tie me down with religious bondage while the other one gave me liberty and freedom to flow in the Holy Spirit. I am a pretty mindful person when it comes to church respect and following order. I asked Father at the freedom church his permission if it was ok for me to kneel to receive communion before I ever did. He said it was fine for me to receive communion like that.
I feel compelled to share this also. The church in which I was scolded I came to find out (years later that was) that one of the priests I liked, I thought he was spiritual. He conducted one of my children's First Holy Communion Mass was later at the next parish he was assigned to a part of the scandals the Catholic Church was involved in. In regard to children. I am most sad for the child/children preyed upon in that parish but at the same time most grateful that my children were not preyed upon.
Even now if any of the Catholic priests caught up in the sexual scandals of the Catholic Church asked forgiveness of Jesus with a sincere and contrite heart He would forgive them. He died on the cross to set us free from sin and bondage. Maybe you are one of those Catholic priests reading this right now and feel Holy Spirit tugging at your heart. If I may do so, may I lead you into a prayer asking forgiveness? Pray this prayer and Jesus will forgive you.
"Lord Jesus I am a sinner. You know the depth of my sin. I am truly sorry for this sin and the pain and suffering this sin brought into innocent lives. Families were changed in this act of sin. Please forgive me. I know You were born of the Virgin Mary, You walked this earth and reached out to the lost and hurt and healed them. Not just in physical but mental hurts and wounds. Also healed them of wounds of their hearts too. You chose to leave the splendors of heaven to come to earth to be amongst us. You chose to die on the cross and take with You the sins of the world and man so I could be set free. Free to live with You now and for all eternity in heaven. I ask You to come into my heart and reside with me. Wash me and cleanse me with Your very blood You shed on the cross at Calvary to make me white as snow. I receive You into my heart and to become my everything. Thank you and I chose to serve You not religious bondage the rest of my life. Amen."
I prayed a prayer of salvation many years ago to invite Jesus into my heart and to forgive me of any sins I had then also. I still humble myself and repent and ask forgiveness if I do anything not pleasing to the Father in my life. It is not about pride it is about a sincere and contrite heart that wants to be pleasing to our heavenly Father and to do good and walk with His presence in our very lives.
One closing happy thought. Even though I was having real encounters with Jesus as a Catholic, the church really did reach out to me and connected me with 2 priests that I would go meet with as spiritual advisers to me in that season of my life and I was blessed by both priests.
Years later I was working in a sales position for a church directory company (they produced pictorial church directories) and I was sitting in a parish office and the priests picture looked familiar to me. Wow it was one of my former spiritual directors. I had the opportunity to now witness to him and share all the Lord had done in my life. I remember him so nicely asking me to come back to the Catholic Church. (that season of my life is over and was the experience catalyst that brought me to where I am now.) It was a rainy day and he walked me to my car and as I was about to get into my car this priest asked me to pray for him, his requested prayer for his spiritual director. I prayed right then and there. That was a true honor for me to pray for him. It truly was.
See how Holy Spirit brings you full cycle/circle? When on occasion if I attend a Catholic mass I am respectful of their beliefs and I do not receive communion because I am not a practicing Catholic.
This entry took me longer than usual for I actually wrote the words in a journal first. Then searched for the pictures to go with this entry, then I typed it. The pictures are of this: the place I found to reside in after the divorce. See the flowers? I planted them from seeds and faithfully used Miracle Gro on them and they grew even higher than the picture I took of them. The next picture is the altar of the Catholic Church in which they prayed for me at their healing services. It always seemed to be on this side of the altar where I would be called by the team to pray over me. Right in proximity of the area where they stored the Eucharist, amazing isn't it? A postcard from the retreat I went on at the Abbey of the Genesee. I know I have a picture of me on the retreat just did not find it while searching earlier. If I come across it I will add it to this blog entry ok.
Trust in God with your whole heart and life and He will truly direct your steps. See, He took an experience and turned it around to bring glory to God, not to man, but to God.
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| You cannot see it clearly in this picture but to the right there is a beautiful cross with Jesus on the cross made of wood. |
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