I Implore You To Save Your Marriage If You Can, Divorce Is Not Fun For Anyone

I would like to share with you the words of a song by Need To Breathe, "Stones Under Rushing Water":
Why don't we dance anymore I'm not ok with that. Why don't we laugh anymore I'm not ok with that. The years go by like stones under rushing water we only know when it's gone. Why don't we smile anymore I'm not ok with that. Why don't we dance slowly I'm not ok with that. The years go by like stones under rushing water. We only know when it's gone. The years go by like stones under rushing water. We only know when it's gone. Why don't we dance anymore. I'm not ok with that.

There is so much truth in these simple words. All of the things you use to do as a couple fall to the wayside and the next thing you know your relationship becomes the stones under the rushing water. You look back and the relationship is no longer there. I implore married couples everywhere to not give up hope and try in your marriage. This is a song to remind couples to not let it get to the point of "We only know when it's gone."

The couple that the song is written about realized where the relationship was heading and it is sung by a woman and a man. It lets you know that they are not OK with not doing the things they use to do. That sounds like encouragement to me.Be strong and determined to not give up and sing with them "I'm not ok with that."

I went through a divorce and I journaled about it as I was going through it. Some people will think that when they finally get the divorce it will bring rejoicing to you. It did not do that to me. That happy feeling that I thought I would experience was actually tears that day. When you experience years together and share your life with a person and now you find yourself disconnected from them, it can be a little unsettling. No one teaches you about the grief a person can experience when going through a divorce. You can experience this grief even if you were the one that filed for the divorce. It is not only felt by the other party in the divorce that did not file for the divorce. We teach people how to grieve when a spouse dies but there is no mention of the grief you will experience in the form of a divorce.
I was blessed in repect that my children have a very good father that loves his children very much. He always was and continues to be an excellent provider not only in the monetary sense but the love he has for his children. We are cordial and we work things out for the sake of our children.

10/29/1996

As I sit patiently at a table in a courtroom, my attorney and my husband’s attorney are trying to figure out the outcome of our lives. I was guided to bring this very journal with me this day. The Lord speaks to me through the words that appear on these pages…I pause for a moment, the words of a song keep coming to my mind. “Ruach Yahweh, Ruach Yahweh, Ruach Yahweh, Come Spirit of God.” I played this song repeatedly since Sunday of this week. When I listen to the words and sing along with the tape an incredible peace and happiness fills my heart. I become consumed with the Lords love and I just want to continue to sing praise and worship to the Lord. I need to pause for a moment, my attorney had returned to the room.


10/30/1996

As you can see, I was not able to complete yesterdays writing. Negotiating takes much out of your being. It is very draining emotionally. At approximately 4:45 pm on October 29, 1996, my husband and I stood in front of a judge to answer and testify to a few questions and it was done. The divorce cannot be entered into the journal until we both complete the parenting class and present our certificates to our attorney’s. Then the judge will sign the final order.
As I left the courtroom, I gave my husband a ride to where his car was located. As he got out of my van, I had tears in my eyes and told him that I was sorry that it ended this way. He gently wiped a tear from my cheek and told me that he cared for me (if I recall, those are the words he used.)
On my drive home to Vermilion, I cried. It was not a time of rejoicing and happiness. A wise woman shared with me what I was feeling was like a death, something to be mourned. As I ponder that thought, these words come to mind. "My dear children that suffer in body, mind, heart, and spirit, fear not the pain that you feel and suffer. For it is a pain that is very real…You are joined in a union, equated as a child comes into the world at birth, you grow with each other. You become intimate; the bond grows as time marches on. When there is a parting of the ways, sadness fills your being. Something you once had is removed, taken away. Emptiness fills you. In your moments of this emptiness, I enter your being as pronounced as you allow Me to be.
Some ask of Me a nudge, to let them know that I am there and care and have them wrapped in my ever-loving presence. Others ask not of Me, I am there just as equal continuing to love. Then there are those that turn their whole being over to Me to do the will of My Father. It is in these moments of deep pain and suffering that the greatest acts of faith can be performed and do come to fruition.
Let Me ease a bit of your pain, for the pain is no less real than the pain as the nails were being driven into My hands and feet. My body felt much pain and suffering. Let Me take the pains of your heart, give them to Me. That your heart may be cleansed and purified, ask Me to come into your heart. Ask of Me 'Jesus, son of David have pity on me.' All you need to do is invite Me into your heart and I will heal your pains and lead you to a life filled with peace and love. Come dear children who toil in pain and suffering, I invite you to come to Me. Now invite Me back into your hearts. Much blessings upon all who suffer this day."