Now, I am going back many years with what I am writing about today. I was still a practicing Catholic when I became "born again." I have shared with you before that at the time I did not know myself as a born again believer because I was never taught that concept while being raised in the Catholic Church. It was not until I participated in an evangelism class and began to attend a non-denominational church. In the meantime, prior to that, I began to read the bible (at the time it was a Catholic bible) and there was no one training me or teaching me things of truth in the bible except Holy Spirit. I remember the time when I was reading scripture and it just came to life before my very eye's as I was reading. It was as if a light bulb went on inside of me illuminating the word of God to me. At the time it was showing me a verse that made it very plain and clear that once one dies and takes their last breath on earth they are then either in heaven or hell. It was in that moment that I realized there is no purgatory. I was taught all my life that purgatory was real and it was a holding place for those that did not make heaven right from the start and that others can pray to help get you out of there. Once you take that last breath here on earth you will either be in heaven or hell there is no holding place. That is a false doctrine to me now that I know the truth through the word of God. I was very concerned about this and I felt the only safe place to go to discuss this was in the confessional with the priest. I went because I knew that they cannot talk about this outside of the confessional, at least that was what I was told all my life.
No one but Holy Spirit was teaching me as I read the word of God. Amongst other things was that I should not pray to dead saints or statues since I was now connected to Jesus. You are to pray to Jesus directly and not through a saint that is no longer alive. I also learned that you go to Jesus directly to ask forgiveness of your sins and not to a man in a confessional that gives you a penance to remove the sin from your life. Let me say it like this, a lot of my life I was taught these things and it was partly freeing to learn the truth but then it was also a bit alarming to know that what I was taught from birth up until this time in my life is not necessarily biblical. That was a real struggle for me since it all seemed to unfold and I found myself going less and less to the Catholic church for mass and going more and more to the non-denominational church to learn the word of God being preached from the pulpit. It was a gradual change over from what I recollect about that time in my life. I did not wake up one day and say to myself I am no longer a Catholic. A friend introduced me to this church and it was a gradual maybe attend once or twice then back to the mass and bit by bit I started to attend the church services more than the mass on Sunday. I had such a hunger for the bible and seemed to absorb the teaching of the bible and preaching of the word of God like a sponge too.
I remember the time when it was time to let go of my Catholic bible and search out a bible that did not have the extra stories in it like the Catholic bible had. The kindest couple that volunteered at the church book store helped me in this, I purchased a New King James bible for that was what our pastor taught out of. This couple never pushed me into a corner to get a new bible they gently guided me. At the time I remember almost feeling a bit like a traitor because I was letting go of that Catholic bible. Believe it or not I still have that bible but I do not read or reference it when I want to search something out in the bible. I kept it because even back then Holy Spirit gave me insights and I wrote some of them down in that very bible too.
I am very respectful if I should attend a Catholic mass for one reason or another (i.e. family function of some sort.) I have let go of some of the ritual practices in the mass and when it comes to receiving communion I do not receive it there because I want to respect their beliefs. I do not know if it is still so now but if you are not a practicing Catholic you should not receive communion so I do not receive it. If I am somewhere and feel Holy Spirit nudge to go forth with the others in the communion line, I then make that symbol (I think it is to cross your arms over your chest) and that lets the person distributing communion know to not give it to you but to bless you.
Second denomination I stepped away from was the Church of the Nazarene. I attended a church that neighbor's of mine attended. I found myself going to their bible studies and even attended a small group bible study in one of the homes of one of my neighbors. They noticed that I had musical talent with percussion instruments and I was asked to be a part of their praise team. I prayed about it and accepted. I even gifted this church with a musical instrument that was a rain stick sort of sound that came forth from this percussion instrument. During this time I was also sharing with a neighbor that also attended this church about being filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of praying in tongues. Now, mind you, when I would be on the altar during praise and worship I was silently praying in tongues as Holy Spirit would lead me. No one but me and God knew I was doing this for this is how I pray at times. Somehow the pastor and I had a conversation and I was basically told that I could not talk to my friend about praying in tongues or encourage them to receive it also. I think I was stunned and shocked at the same time. I learned that I do not think Nazarene's believe in praying in tongues and it was bible era stuff and not for today. I think I probably looked shocked when I heard those words come forth from the pastor's mouth. I was being told that I could not tell someone about Holy Spirit being alive in people today and not just the era of the bible. He was not mean about it or anything like that he just wanted me to not discuss this with one of his members of their church. I probably said it in my simple yet blunt way of responding this...I said I do not think I can be on your praise team anymore and I explained that the very thing that they do not believe in I operated in on their very altar while worshiping the Lord.
I would not cross bounds of a denominational belief. I felt it was best to step down because at that point Holy Spirit would be stifled in my life under that type of restriction. I am not here to judge others but how can one sit under the leadership of one that does not allow the very thing in which you are blessed to operate in. I not only pray in the spirit, Holy Spirit also gives me interpretation of what I spoke or prayed. It made no sense to me the only thing I can equate it to was being told you cannot drive a car because they do not believe that driving a car is a real thing. Now in your mind you begin to question what they just said to you because you know that it is a real thing because you have operated in doing that very thing. You have two options at that point, you can either stop driving a car and accept their idea or you cannot accept that concept and continue to keep driving right. The choice really is yours. I believe in healing's and miracles are for today and not just bible times and praying in tongues or some may know it as praying in the spirit. How can I deny Holy Spirit when He flows through me to sit under the leadership of one that does not believe. I do believe that I was there at that church because I really did learn from the pastor and through the bible studies too. It was a place where I could share what Holy Spirit was teaching me as I also learned the word of God through them too. It sure did take me out of my comfort zone to get up on a platform during praise and worship to not just worship but be an active part of the music. I had to attend practices too. I am most thankful for the opportunity allotted me while attending this church for the season that I did attend. I was reading something in my bible just the other day and I came across a note I jotted down and the date I entered it into the bible margin from when the pastor was preaching. The date was 1/13/2002 and the notes were beside Psalm 23. These are the notes I jotted in my bible. Read 5 times a day if you're going thru some difficulty. in verse 6 the word goodness is underlined with this note that everything that is good. I also underlined the word mercy with the note steadfast love and kindness. Verse 3 righteousness the note was He guides me in what is right. At the end of the Psalm there were further notes: Christ leads through 1. the scriptures 2. gifted leadership 3. community 4. prayer/the Holy Spirit. I shared in love when I let the pastor know I had to step down from the worship team because I could not be on the altar praying in the spirit when I knew it was against their belief. I could not be asked to squelch Holy Spirit by denying that it is He that prays through me when He prompts me to pray in that manner either. If I no longer attended that church then I would be able to still share with my neighbor at the time for I would be doing nothing wrong since I no longer would be sitting under that pastor.
It is very important to be equally yoked with those you hang around with it really is. Can you see this through my story today, the importance of this? How can you not be true to Holy Spirit, who guides you through everything if you allow Him to? If He illuminates a truth to you through the scriptures then how can you possibly sit under the teaching of a religious doctrine of a church that is contrary to the word of God? It is either out of ignorance in the not knowing or you choose to not do anything about it out of wanting to stay in your comfort zone. How can you then chose to marry or date someone that does not have the same belief structure as yourself? All I can do is caution you to truly seek Holy Spirit for we all will be held accountable to God the Father one day and what will your answer be when He questions you as to why you did not follow the leading of Holy Spirit? I cannot answer this but I can encourage you to seek out the wisdom of Holy Spirit and if you allow Him to direct your path He truly will.
One more note of interest...I also attended a bible study on the Book Of Revelation at a Lutheran denomination church and I learned a wealth of information on this. Holy Spirit really moved in that study. So do not be locked in so tightly that you will not step out of your comfort zone to learn and glean from another outlet when it comes to gaining knowledge and wisdom. Trust Holy Spirit and if you truly do He will guide and direct your path and give you the unction to take that class or sit under a certain pastor because the safest place to be is in the arms of Jesus with Holy Spirit guiding you because He knows ultimately what the experience will bring into your life to enrich you. Step out of that old, stuffy, comfort zone you are accustomed to and take that leap of faith in Holy Spirit OK. The type of Catholic bible I had was the New American Bible St. Joseph Medium Size Edition.
A final note of interest...many years ago when one of my children was younger they actually participated in a Christmas play at another (different from the one I made mention of earlier) Church of the Nazarene and I came across the underlined words in my bible the other day that were the lines they had to read. Oddly enough, my friend that attended that church directed this play and they allowed me to work with the children with the musical instruments they would use for this play. Isn't it amazing how God can use you if you allow Him to?
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